~xi@op@i~**

一个炎热的下午..

今天..

考完试过后..

我提早回家..

以准备明天的考试..

走到校门口时..

刚巧碰到一辆的士..

由于天气格外的闷热..

我便 ‘不假思索’ 上了那辆的士..

一上去..

我顿时傻了眼..

不是因为性感的美女..

( 哈.. 无聊..)

而是驾着的士的司机竟然是一名七十多岁,

满发白苍苍的老者..

我此时心里想着..

酱老的司机还能吗…

一路上..

老人跟我说些他平时生活中的些事..

老人说..

今天天气炎热..

有点晕..

想要提早收工..

把的士车驾回老板的住处..

之后便走路回家.

老人说..

他每次放完工过后..

都是独自儿走路回..

从老板家到他自个儿家..

需要八千多步..

老人说..

他每次走路回家时..

都会一步,一步的算着走回去..

我问老人..

这不累吗?

老人说..

累啊..

可是还是得走..

他说..

当你走了一段漫长的路..

到达你的目的地时..

那种感觉..

是幸福的..

虽然很累..

我心里想..

老人所说的话何尝又不是个道理..

正好反映出我们的人生..

不管有多艰辛..

只要肯努力..

最终还是会到达自己心中的目的地..

老实说..

此时..

我很想问老人..

为何他不乘的士回去..

那样他也不需要走酱长的路..

不过幸好我临时醒悟..

我白目啊..

竟然叫个的士司机乘别的的士回家去..

真讽刺..

哈..

我还真糊涂..

老人又说..

现在社会经济越来越差..

驾的士真的很辛苦..

过着有一餐没一餐的生活..

老人说..

上层政治人士说我国经济强又壮..

人民皆皆食得饱.穿的暖..

不过他们可曾有想过..

下层阶人士过的是怎样的生活吗..

老人说着,说着..

声音越来越小声..

我想此时他可能在感慨吧..

老人也说..

大选过后..

日子将会更难过..

看来有得熬了..

令我奇怪的是..

老人从头到尾没批评过任何人..

言语之间却流出对上层人士的百般无奈..

路途中..

老人也不忘的劝我说..

晚上最好不要独自出门..

很危险..

老人也指了几条比较常发生意外的地方给我..

提醒我..

看着双手微微发抖的老人..

驾着车..

此时我心里也不再害怕了..

因为我真的是打从心底佩服这位老人..

不过令我感叹的是..

老人这把年纪了..

不是应该在家里享清福的吗..

那位孩子忍心让自己年迈的父亲出来驾的士..

不过..

也许老人自己说不定也有自己的苦衷..

就这样说着,说着..

无思乱想的想着, 想着..

老人缓缓地把我载到家门口..

我看了计程表..

3零吉..

我打开皮包..

发现里面有3张1零吉纸币..

可是我偏拿出5零吉给老人..

要他不用找..

当作请他喝茶..

可是老人坚持不要..

说..

只有老人请小孩喝茶..

没小孩请老人喝茶..

我也没坚持..

下车前..

我吩咐老人要小心驾驶..

回家时也要小心..

老人眼中泛着泪光..

嗯嗯点着头..

然后驾车离去..

今天..

又学了不少事..

今天考完试后, 很早便回家了.. 回到家后,又觉得无聊.. 便去JJ闲逛.. 原本想去那儿吃午餐的, 顺便买份礼服给朋友..哪知逛着,逛着.. 看到件喜欢的衣服便买下来.. 结果忘了原本的目的 “轻松” 地回家去.. 结果… 整个回家路上肚子咕咕叫.. 呵呵..

不知道为什么今天心情有点闷闷的.. 也许是因为闷热的天气吧.. 最近的天气真的令人很反感.. 超晒,超闷得叻.. 感觉好像在闷锅里头.. sienz.. 不过令我最期待的是,下个星期便能回马六甲去了.. 超想念那里的生活,朋友.. 呵呵..

噢.. 差点忘了今天的一件趣事.. 就今天回到家中.. 看到车房正中间有只超大只的蜗牛叻.. 大约15cm.. 呵呵.. 看得我都乐了.. 把它抓进桶里.. 原本想养它.. 可是想想, 不知道它吃什么.. 于是便打电话给老妈问去.. 结果.. 才一问就被老妈骂到臭头.. 所以只好乖乖的把它放生去.. 呵呵.. 就当作我和你无缘吧.. 蜗牛先生.. 哈哈.. 其实我也不知道它是公的还是母的.. 有谁能告诉我怎样区别啊~~ 呵呵.. 累..

除了要感谢蜗牛先生带给我小小的欢乐以外.. ahem.. ahemm.. 还要感谢youtube里的个视频里的二人组 – 栋栋毛.. 呵呵..  真的很搞笑.. 同时也蛮佩服他们的勇气.. 尤其是那长发的.. 笑翻我..!!!! “我在这儿等着你回来,等着你回来,看那桃花开………..” 哈哈..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z2X44iSyUE

“             I shouldnt love you, but I just want to

                I just cant turn away

                I shouldnt see you, but I cant move

                I cant look away

                And I dont know how to be fine when I’m not

                Cause I dont know how to make the feelings stop

                Just so you know

                This feeling taking control

                Of me

                And I cant help it             

                This emptiness is killing me

                And I’m wondering why I’ve waited so long

                Looking back I realize it was always there, just never spoken

                I’m waiting here

                Been waiting here           ”

I miss u..

I really do..

Just..

Really very miss u..

Although u r just in front me..

I never miss to do so..

Never stop to miss u..

Just in a blink of an eye..

Times passes fast..

In many times..

I really thought that I was already let u go..

But it seems aint right..

I..

Never let u go..

U never step out from my life..

Never..

Sometimes really thought of I’m getting closer with u..

But at last..

It seems that they’re just my thinking only..

So near yet so far..

Really hate this kind of feeling..

Maybe I just..

Just never get close with u..

Time flying..

But I always embrace every moments given by u..

The moment when..

U’re willing ro listen to me whenever I feel down..

The moment when..

Chatting with u till the next day..

The moment when..

U willing to out with me..

The moment when..

U telling me ur problems..

There’re many things that I just wanna do with u..

Only u..

I wanna lend u my shoulder whenever u cry

I wanna be the one who accompany u whenever u need someone to accompany with

I wanna accompany you to do the things whenever u feel like want someone to accompany

I wanna be the one beside u whenever u need someone to talk to

I wanna be the one beside u seeing u quietly whenever u need to be alone

I wanna be the one beside u when u’re down

I wanna be the one beside u when u feel like want someone to share ur sadness with

I wanna be the one beside u when u feel like want someone to share ur happiness with

I wanna worry for u

I wanna be ur side whenever u feel uncomfortable

I wanna be the one who accompany whenever u feel like outing

I wanna be the one beside you whenever u miss home

I wanna be the one accompany u back home

I wanna be ur side when u have no confidence

I wanna u to sleep as early and wake up as late as u wish

I wanna call u until the next morning

I wanna chat with u not feeling any tired

I dun wanna u to find no where to cry of when u feel like crying

I dun wanna u to find no one when u need someone to accompany with

I dun wanna u to find no one when u do something u feel like need someone to accompany with

I dun wanna u to find no one when u need someone to talk to

I dun wanna u to feel alone when u need to be alone

I dun wanna u to be alone when u’re down

I dun wanna u to find no one whenever u need someone to share ur sadness with

I dun wanna u to find no one whenever u need someone to share ur happiness with

I dun wanna u to feel any worries

I dun wanna u to be alone when u feel any uncomfortable

I dun wanna u to find no one to accompany u whenever u feel like outing

I dun wanna u to miss home alone

I dun wanna u to back home alone

I dun wanna u to feel alone when you’re in elevator

I dun wanna u to go back home alone seeing there is nobody at home

I dun wanna u to be alone when u feel unconfident

I dun wanna u to sleep late and wake up early

I dun wanna u to feel cold, disappointed whenever u encounter things that do not seem right to u

I wanna u to be childish

I wanna u to be immature

I wanna u to be timid

I wanna u to be spoilt

I wanna u to be dependent

I wanna u to be lazy

I wanna u laugh whenever u feel u like to

I wanna u do whatever things u like to

I wanna u to just be urself

A truly u

Which there is no any restrictions

I wanna u to be freedom from the things u dont like

I wanna u to free from all the restrictions that bind on u

I dun wanna u to do things unwillingly

I wanna u to laugh always

I wanna u to blush when u feel shy

I wanna u to live happily

I wanna u to live without worry

I really want to..

I know..

Maybe I’m not the one u need concern from the most..

But..

I’m just worry about u..

Just really concern of u..

I just dun wanna to be a passer-by in ur life

Is there someone in you?

Deeply in your heart..

Perhaps you may like or love each other before,

But..

Do not get with each other together at last..

Maybe is because of the friends around..

Maybe is because of the family..

Maybe is because of the need to pursue studies in overseas,

He/she doesn’t ask you to wait for him/her..

Maybe it’s too early for both of you to meet with,

Therefore do not know how to appreciate each other..

Maybe it ‘s too late for both of you to meet with,

There is already a partner beside you or him/her..

Maybe it’s too late for you to realise of,

And he/she’s no longer there..

Or..

Maybe both of you keep on reading each other mind,

Dare not to beyond the border..

And..

Many reasons more..

Although both of you may not staying with each other,

But yet..

Still trying hard to carry on the friendship between you and him/she..

However,

Both of you clear that,

For you,

Him or she,

Is not just as simple as an ordinary friend,

In your heart..

You may not walk out like an ordinary couple with him/her,

Holding him/her hand..

But yet both of you still can be good friend..

Talking craps around..

Fooling around..

If he/she’s liking someone,

You promise him/her that you will try to help him/her..

However,
In your heart,

You are not sure that whether you are really hoping him/her manages to chase for another..

When he/she is in trouble,

No matter how hard the task is..

You’ll try your best to help him/her..

Never think of who owing who..

When your existing partner jealous,

You’ll console them both of you are only ordinary friend..

But again..

In your heart,

You are not sure about it..

Doubting it..

Mostly,

Everyone in life,

May or once having this kind of special friend..

Perhaps,

Initially,

You may not willing to be just an ordinary friend of him/her..

However,

Slowly,
You’ll realise that sometimes it’s better to remain such special friendship..

You rather to concern him/her in such way,

Than both of you might end up in break up one day once the courtship started..

You rather be him/her ordinary friend..

So that there will no conflict raised due to the jealousy..

And only by this way,

Both of you can be the real good friends..

And the most important thing is..

You know that..

By having this special relationship..

He/she will always there to concern you..

A truly friend..

刚才去打包晚餐,
听老板说今天可是他在吉隆坡最后一晚卖饭了,
老了,
打算回乡下去不卖了…
不知道是不是因为今天的心情关系…
听了以后,
竟然有一丝丝的伤感…
唉…
不过叻,
猪,
还是要感谢你啦…
虽然你的安慰好像没什么用…

26 AUG 07

2200

今天下午，

到JJ超级市场去，

原本打算买点零食回去，

挑了一大堆零食，

打算付钱时，

忽然觉得没什么胃口，

结果把“零食们”一一摆回去…

经过平时超爱的MACD时，

竟然也提不起劲来…

结果叻，

一整天没吃东西…

自找麻烦…

哈哈…

i’m genius…

想到明天开学了，

lagi sien..

假期不够用…

22 JUN 07

终于,

把一切都放开了…

忽然发现自从那天把该给你的东西都给后,

原来我早已经放开了你…

两年半,

说长不长,

说短不短…

虽然舍不得…

但,

谢谢你…

让我学了很多东西…

真的…

回想前几个月的我,

还真的蛮好笑…

把一切留作回忆…

20 JUL 07

tzong,

one of my moz respected committee n senior,

may u rest in peace..

all ur efforts,

contributions,

those days we been together,

da hardship n da happiness we shared,

wil never been forgotten..

once again,

i salute u as da member of da unit-4 red crescent society..

salute..

10 AUG 07

忽然发现自己好像真的喜欢上你了…

原本以为已经把自己给冰冻起来…

没想到…

傻呼呼的你…

竟然…

算了…

有时想,

我到底又再喜欢上不该喜欢的人？？

唉…

不懂…

不想懂…

也搞不懂…

算了…

我又再逃避…

17 AUG 07

6.30am

沮丧…

不知道为什么,

今早一起来心情特别的糟…

好像有不好的预感…

不管了…

别想太多了…   

11.00am

考完试后,

心情更加糟糕…

竟然一题也不会做…

惨…

惨…

惨…

60分…

难啊…

觉得很沮丧,

质疑当初选择来吉隆坡念书,

到底是不是正确的…

希望能渡过这关…

不过叻,

老师,

你也真的够狡猾叻…

差点上了你的当…

你真他妈的王八蛋…

气…

忽然发现到劝人家或给别人意见容易…
但，自己做起来时，却不是想象中的那么容易…
昨天，
一个朋友碰到感情问题，
跑来向我哭诉…
我给了她一些意见，
劝说她不应该轻易放弃自己喜欢的人，
没试过又怎么知道呢…
她忽然问我，
想念一个人时怎么办…
我静了…
没回答她…
敷衍她说别去想太多啦…
其实，
并不是我不想好好地答她，
而是，
我自己也不知道答案…
唉，
算了…
别去想太多了…

不知为什么,
最近那种感觉好像又来了…
忽然之间觉得很累，很累…
觉得等待一个人真的很辛苦，
也很累…
原本以为自己能继续地守候下去，
忽然之间又觉得自己好像办不到…
是什么原因呢？
不懂…
也不想去想…
是逃避吗？
也许吧…

自从懂事以来，
还是第一次感到如此绝望…
第一次觉得想要放弃一个自己喜欢的东西…
以前，
一旦认定是自己想要或喜欢的东西时，
都会尽我的能力去争取…
但现在呢，
我真的能吗?
真的能办到吗？

记得曾经有一个朋友说过，
如果真的喜欢一个人，
便应该祝福她…
我当然也明白这道理…
曾想如此…
也试过如此…
原本以为我行的…
但就是办不到…
难道这叫自私吗?
搞不懂…
很矛盾…

啊啊啊…
快要崩溃了…

每次写这些blogs时，
都希望你能看到…
但，
现在想想，
就算看到了能怎么样?
累…
我想，
我还是会继续地守候下去，
或许有人会认为我好像有点傻…
但…
还是算了…
不知要怎么说…